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Epiphany; Missing; Leah; Silvia

Friday 6 January 2012.

Up 09.00 +. Exercised and showered. Ate before that weetabix and milk for breakfast. Dressed in grey Robbie small-check slacks, “Trinity” T-shirt, sky blue Greenore semi-polo T-shirt, black and grey Mizuno golf gansy, braces, navy 2011 FootJoy golf socks, tan two-tone Javari zipped boots, glasses, brown Oakmont golf jacket for outer wear, blue and grey Nike barred nightcap style golf headgear. Rosanna culled some of my papers. Spent the day listening to the radio and kept off the Acer and the Dell. Drove in to GreenLife DR c 18.00 and struck a free basket of balls with the 3-metal, rescue club, driver, 7-iron. The dispensing machine was not operating so JC gave me a ¾ full bucket of balls which he retrieved from behind the scenes. Coffee afterwards buckshee from Rickie – I made it myself. He works in Ridley’s and was just filling in. Rosanna met Jane Savage at 18.30 in Strandfield and returned home long after me. Patrick Sheelan called in the late morning soon after I finished dressing. Searching for his brother Gavin, 19, who is missing. He carried a photo and gave a description of what his brother was wearing when last seen. The HQ of the search is in The Pats’ Complex. Nice pop music on RTE Radio 1 20.00 —-> 22.00. Cooked a pot of porridge. Ate half of it hot with honey and later for supper ½ of it cold with honey. Used an almost full balloon wine glass full of flakes. Washed my teeth before bed and earlier trimmed my toenails. 00.07. Wrote notes for this journal sitting on the side of my bed dressed in pyjamas.

Saturday 7 January 2012.

Up 09.00. Breakfast of weetabix, milk, coffee. Went back to bed. Up again. Exercised; showered; dressed the same as yesterday. Hung about the house while Rosanna tidied and culled a lot of papers continuing the work she began yesterday. Lunch: 4 pieces of brown bread, butter, cheese, garlic spread, one piece with marmalade; tea. Ate a large juicy tart orange. Siesta. Text from Leah. “Will arrive c 19.30.” Ate beef dinner before mass.

· Christ Be Beside Me

· The Lord’s My Shepherd

· Amazing Grace

· Sweet Heart of Jesus

A Marist priest with white hair and beard. Very small congregation. Frances and Catherine Baldwin both absent. Small forces but the choir was good nevertheless. Fidelis was there in tune. I went in and gave the prompt to the “children” to come out for the offertory. However they missed their cue. But I had warned the priest beforehand and he astutely saved the day calling for the children to come out. Gave €10 in the envelope to include the “6th”. Earlier drove to McCrystals’ for change of a €20 note. Bought a Snickers Duo and 2 scones. Ate one cherry scone with a glass of milk. Gave €2 to Brainwave on the way in to the church. Met Mrs. Wehrly coming out. Gavin Sheelan was found dead today by the helicopter up around Sleanaglough, RIP, (19). Leah who arrived before I went to 19.30 mass showed me the Kindle I bought for JJ. It’s a library! A small slim piece of equipment. Drank 1 ½ glasses of red after mass. Ate some chocolates, some ice-cream and later before bed a bowl of cornflakes and milk. Writing now, 22.20, sitting on the side of my bed dressed in flip-flops, pyjamas, black robe, glasses. Going to wash my teeth and retire. Rosanna cried off golf today. I play tomorrow DV. Did not get a chance to e-mail Silvia tonight. Early in the morning?

5 responses to “Epiphany; Missing; Leah; Silvia

  1. Dolores October 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Are you for real??? Did I really just read an item you wrote where you mentioned “trimming my toenails” and “buying 2 scones” in the same paragraphs as saying Gavin Sheelan was missing, then “found dead by a helicopter”??? Gavin was MY SON, a REAL, LOVING, CARING BOY!!! HE DIED from hypothermia after he had a mental breakdown following 18 months of severe bullying and intimidation by 2 cowardly scumbags and their cowardly little pals who, needless to say, did their dirty work in numbers and never alone, as all cowards do. Gavin’s death has left his brother, sister and I utterly heartbroken and devastated that it came to this, but to see something like I have just read on your space makes me realise Gavin is actually the lucky one because I would rather be dead than live in this cruel world where those scumbags exist and people like you, who actually live practically next door to us, can pass off Gavin’s death and the 4 weeks of torture he went through between his breakdown and death as nothing more important than golf and brushing your teeth. And for the record, Gavin was not ‘found by a helicopter’ but by a caring neighbour who left his cosy home to look for my son, as did 200 other neighbours whose huge efforts will always be in my heart. How you could see my other son, Patrick, when he called to show you Gavin’s photo when he was missing, and not see the worry and 3 weeks lack of sleep in his face just beggars belief. I HATE HATE HATE this world.

    • Seán Crudden October 21, 2012 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks for the correction and sharing your thoughts, Dolores. I have a long history of mental illness myself so I know how it feels. I was deeply affected by Gavin’s death and I did read the seriousness of the situation when Patrick came to my door.

      • Dolores October 22, 2012 at 2:11 am

        Sean, I am genuinely sorry you suffer, or have suffered from, mental illness, as I saw what my darling Gavin went through and would not wish that confusion, pain and terror on you or any decent person. I hope life isn’t too hard on you and that I didn’t make it worse.

  2. Seán Crudden October 22, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Yes, I know what you mean. But a lot of that is behind me now for the moment anyway. I am 68 years old and I am not as impressionable as I may have been when I was younger. I am grateful to you for writing on my blog. Thanks.

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